Archive for August, 2008

Losing A Pet

Pets become members of our family, and quickly win our hearts. Losing a pet causes the same kind of grief as other losses, and that grief, and the resultant mourning period, should be taken just as seriously. In modern society, we have rituals and ceremonies that help us when we lose a loved one. Wakes, funerals, burial services and visits to the gravesites are important in helping us to deal with the loss. But typically, with the loss of a pet we have no such ceremonies to aid us in the grieving process, even though the grief is just as real.

In her book, On Death and Dying, Elizabeth Kübler-Ross described grief as having 5 stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Losing a beloved pet is a traumatic life moment, but time, and an understanding of the stages of grief and how to deal with them, can be important steps in healing.

1. Denial. The first stage often occurs immediately and passes quickly, but it can linger for some time, depending on the age of the pet and the circumstances. The inability to believe that a dog or cat is really gone, especially after having the pet for years, is a normal part of the grieving process.

2. Anger. Why did my pet have to die? Why did it have to happen this way? Anger is a perfectly natural reaction to losing something so dear. Understanding that all living things must die, that the only mystery is when and where, can help ease you through this stage.

3. Bargaining. This often happens immediately, like denial and anger, with pleas for the pet to live, perhaps making deals with God that if everything is okay, you’ll be better, or go to church, or give to charity. Any number of bargains can come into play, depending on your lifestyle. This is a natural reaction to a trauma—somehow we try to find a way to undo what’s happened, or make it okay. A part of bargaining unique to the loss of a pet is a type of bargain with yourself, in which you tell yourself that if you get another pet, you won’t hurt so much. And some make oaths to never have another pet again, because it’s too painful to lose them. It’s common to believe that either of those things will stop or greatly alleviate the pain, but often, that doesn’t hold true. A new pet might distract you from the pain for a while, but you owe it to yourself to deal with your grief as well as you can before taking on the responsibility of another pet. Conversely, there’s no need to deprive yourself of the joys of pet ownership in the future just to avoid losing another pet. These extreme feelings will pass.

4. Depression. When the denial and anger have faded, and it’s obvious that bargaining doesn’t help, depression can set in. Depression is a normal reaction to loss. You’re sad because your loved pet is gone, and the pain of that loss is terrible. Ways to cope with the depression include good nutrition, enough exercise, and enough sleep. Be around people and socialize to avoid the loneliness that can come from missing a pet, but realize that you cannot avoid the pain of the loss. Instead, try to focus not on how your pet is gone from your life, but on the joy your pet brought to your life while he or she was with you. Make a photo album or keepsake album of dog or cat pictures, a special memento that you can look at when you want to revisit specific memories.

5. Acceptance. The final stage of grief is the hardest to reach–the acceptance that what has happened cannot be changed, and that a beloved pet is truly gone. But accepting that a cherished companion is no longer with you does not mean that you’ll forget the pet or the happy times you shared. Some people equate lessening grief with a sort of disrespect, but that’s not so. There are many ways to honor your pet’s memory and his or her importance in your life, even as the pain of loss lessens. You can place a lovely headstone at your pet’s gravesite, or choose a memorial stone for your yard or garden. Keep your pet’s collar or favorite toy in a keepsake box with your pet’s photo on the outside. These serve as powerful symbols of remembrance and love, and can help you feel closer to your pet in a healthy and sustainable way.

Losing a pet is painful, but the grief and sadness you feel is necessary and healthy. Now is the time to move from mourning your pet’s loss to celebrating the time you had with your special animal. Take the time to be good to yourself and honor your pet’s memory in a way that feels right to you.

About the Author

Shelley Ontis is a freelance writer who writes for http://www.Remmeer.com, offering a wide variety of pet lover sympathy gifts. Cat Memorials: http://www.remmeer.com/cat-memorial-stones-c-104.html Dog Memorials: http://www.remmeer.com/pet-memorials-c-25.html

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Dog Training - Bad Dogma, How Harsh Training Methods Can Cause Aggression

The dictionary defines the word dogma as: The established belief or doctrine held by a religion, ideology or any kind of organization, thought to be authoritative and not to be disputed, doubted or diverged from.

There is an old saying among dog trainers that goes: “The only thing two dog trainers can agree on is what the third one is doing wrong.”

There are basically two schools of dog trainers. On one side you have the old school dog trainers that believe training is done by using a choke chain or prong collar to train, that you should never use food to train the dog.

On the other hand you have the food reward trainers that believe you should never use any kind of force or harsh methods to train.

Both sides will strongly argue for their way of training. I have been on both sides of the issue. I got my start training dogs with an old time trainer that had been training dogs since the 1950’s. If you used a treat in front of this guy, you had to be prepared for a verbal eruption that would make a sailor blush.

I have also been with trainers that think anything short of filet mignon not being used for treats is cruel. All kidding aside it can get confusing for someone trying to train their dog. Who do you listen to? Should you just use treats to train? Do you ever give your dog a correction?

The truth of the matter is that positive reinforcement and negative reinforcement can be extremely effective. There is no denying that there are thousands of dogs that are safely confined to their yards with the help of underground electronic fences.

There is also no denying that dogs learn much better when you use a reward based system of training. The important point is this: You want to make sure that you spend more time rewarding your dog’s behavior than punishing or getting physical with your dog.

The fact is that all good relationships are based on positive interaction. I once watched a group obedience class where all the dogs were on choke chains. Food was not allowed. In the course of one hour, I watched one guy give his dog over 150 corrections with the leash. They weren’t all hard corrections but he did yank on the leash that many times.

Over time, that dog will become tolerant to the choke chain and the owner will have to yank harder and harder and will probably damage his dog’s neck and trachea which will lead to one very grouchy dog. There’s no denying the fact that a dog being trained that way can easily develop an aggression problem, and here’s the rub. The dog is always blamed, never the training method Doesn’t it make sense to use a reward based training system?

Unfortunaly this way of training has become the established belief or doctrine held by many dog trainers, and not to be disputed, doubted or diverged from.

Too bad for the dogs.

About the Author

Eric Letendre, author of The Amazing Dog Training Man, invites you to visit http://www.amazingdogtrainingman.com for free dog training video clips, tips, articles, and advice. Free Newsletter.

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Inside Dog Or Outside Dog?

Do you have an outside dog? In some parts of the country, it is almost unheard of to let a dog live outside in the yard. In other places, this is a fairly common way to keep the family pet. Living in suburban Chicago, I believed the weather was a factor. After all, we have hot summers and brutal winters. What dog could survive those extremes? Of course, as a professional dog trainer, I have colleagues in warmer climates such as in Texas and California where many families keep dogs outside year round.

A few years ago I discovered that the question of where to house the dog, inside or out, is just as much a matter of local culture as climate. I purchased a vacation home in rural Michigan and found that some of the neighbor dogs lived inside, like mine. Others had dog houses and fences, or chains and live outside in almost all weather conditions.

When talking to people about their outside dogs, I quickly learned that there were several common reasons for this housing arrangement. Yes, in some cases people simply believe a dog’s place is outside by the dog house. But in many other instances a behavior problem has caused the family to isolate the dog, outside the home. Some of the most common behaviors include housebreaking issues, barking problems and destructive chewing.

Invariably the dog’s owner has not invested the proper time to actually resolve those problems. And in fact, placing a dog outside may case new issues. Dogs left unattended for long periods of time often engage in boredom behaviors such as incessant barking and digging. If we merely train the dog to toilet outside and behave well in the home, you can enjoy a much richer experience as a pet owner than you can when your dog is chained or fenced outside.

Some people believe that the dog offers more protection for the family when outside the house, and this factors into the housing decision. In reality, a dog always offers more security to the home when kept inside. First, dogs left outside may bark so much that family and neighbors learn to ignore them. Second, a would-be burglar will find it an easy matter to just poison your dog if he really wants entry.

Think about it from the burglar’s point of view for a moment. Which is more frightening? Seeing a dog on a chain, or being surprised by the barking when you touch the doorknob? Some of the best watch dogs are not very impressive in terms of size. But they make up for size with extreme alertness and noise making. The sight of a Sheltie in the yard would not likely deter a criminal. However, a Sheltie in the home functions as an early warning system for anything unusual. More than anything else, burglars do not like to be surprised.

As a dog lover and trainer, I want more than to merely own a dog. I want to enjoy a profound relationship with my pets. In order to really share live on a deep level we must also share hearth and home. This means we must take the trouble to teach house rules to our dogs so they can stay out of trouble and truly become part of the family. Many dog trainers specialize in helping owners convert outside dogs to inside dogs. Did you think it can’t be done? Of course it can. We’ve housebroken and civilized thousands of grown dogs.

If you keep your dog outside, you have little more than a living lawn ornament. Bring your dog in, teach him how to function successfully, and you have a best friend who will sleep by your door, and keep one eye open for security.

About the Author

Marc Goldberg, CDT is a dog trainer specializing in the rehabilitation of difficult dogs and improving relationships. He is Vice President of the International Association of Canine Professionals (IACP). Visit him on the web at http://www.chicagodogtrainer.com or http://www.dogtraininginchicago.com.

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Goldens And Black Labrador Retrievers

Today I fell into a trap that I should never have allowed myself to get into. I actually trusted my dog, my Nikki, a 3 year golden retriever.

Nikki is an amazingly affectionate dog, even more than normal for a golden retriever. She is gentle, good natured and behaves pretty well.

She loves going out for car drives, and she is a very well behaved dog in the car. She sits beside me, head hanging out the window and gently watching the world go by. She never gets agitated, restless or excited, even when she spots another dog out the window.

The other day, I took both Nikki, and Benny my black lab out for a drive. This time Benny was sitting in the front. Nikki was in the back. As usual I had the back and front window open.

I drove around the corner, and pulled into my driveway. And, what do I see…Nikki, sitting by the front gate. She must have jumped out the back window as I was pulling around the corner and ran to the gate.

I had absolutely NO clue she had even jumped out. Never before did she ever show any signs of jumping out.

Needless to say I was freaking. I mean, with a little imagination, I could imagine what could have happened.

Rule number one: Don’t trust your dogs. No matter how well behaved your dogs are, they are still dogs. Look out for their safety. Always make safety your first priority.

I should have known better. I try to make dog safety and dog training and dog nutrition my priorities. I have 3 dogs, 2 black labs, and my Nikki, a golden retriever. Dukie, one of my black labs is blind. Oddly enough, when I walk my 3 dogs and my neighbor comes and joins me with her dog, Dukie behaves the best. He loves walking and going for car rides. If you are observing him, you would never know he is blind.

The Labrador retriever (”Labrador” or “Lab” for short), is one of several kinds of retriever, and are the most popular breeds of dog (by registered ownership) in both the United States and the United Kingdom. The breed is exceptionally friendly, intelligent and good natured, and as a rule these qualities mean that Labs love people, handle children well, and therefore make excellent family and service dogs. Benny, my black lab and Nikki are both Certified Therapy Dogs. They visit the elderly in homes.

Labradors are relatively large with males typically weighing 60 to 80 lb (27 to 36 kg) and females 50 to 70 lb (23 to 32 kg). They are energetic outgoing dogs, and are black, yellow, or brown (called “chocolate”) in color, in that order of frequency. Their fur is usually fairly short and straight, and the tail quite broad and strong. The otter-like tail and webbed toes of the Labrador retriever make him an excellent swimmer. Their interwoven coat is also waterproof, providing more assistance for swimming. The tail acts as a rudder for changing directions. Yellow labs can have black or pink noses; chocolate and black labs’ noses match the coat color.

As with some other breeds, the English and the America lines differ slightly. Labs are bred in England as a medium size dog, shorter and stockier with fuller faces than their American counterparts which are bred as a larger dog. I have both, one English, My Benny, and one American, my Dukie.

Famous Labs

• U.S. President Bill Clinton’s pet labrador was called Buddy.

Reasons to train your precious lab and golden

Here’s a Small Sample of What You Should Learn:

1) Make sure your dog knows why you are trying to correct him? Learn how to make him understand what you want of him.

2) Learn from the Pros. You can teach your dog at home, but learn from the pros. Do not learn mistakes from amateurs with opinions.

3) Teach your dog NOT to fight with other dogs.

4) Curb your dog’s aggressiveness, before it even has a chance to start.

5) House train your dog without getting aggravated.

6) Teach your dog NOT to jump up on people.

Remember, a well trained dog is a happy dog and a safe dog. A well trained dog is received with joy by neighbors and friends. Don’t let your puppy/dog become an aggravation; teach him to be a socially well behaved dog.

And, if you have the time and inclination, look into dog therapy visiting with your dog. It is an extremely worthwhile activity. And goldens and labs are wonderful at this job. Just do a search on the internet for “Dog Therapy” groups and organizations in your area.

About the Author

For more Free Resources http://www.coachingonnet.com

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Cat People

Cats: the mere word conjures up images of mystery and beauty, of ancient Egyptian goddesses, of Halloween night and witches on broomsticks. What other animals are so associated with occult imagery, while also being commonplace companions in our daily lives ? Wolves may share a spine-tingling association with ancient legends, from the werewolf to the big bad wolf of fairy tale fame. Dogs may share our lives and can be found in most suburban backyards. Yet only cats move silently and comfortably between the two worlds of the mystic and the mundane. Why do cats fascinate us and why do we love cats so ?

Cats are beautiful. Cat lovers and non-cat lovers alike must admit to the beauty of their large, soulful eyes and lovely faces, their elegant silhouettes, their dainty noses and paws, and their metronomic tails. Cats may have shimmering green eyes, cool blue eyes or surprising yellow eyes. Their fur may be long or short, smooth or bushy, uniformly colored or patterned like tigers or calicos, and come in many shades of orange, yellow, brown, grey, black, and white, or some combination of the above.

Cats are fascinating to watch. We’re amused by the comical antics of lively kittens playing, leaping, bounding, and rolling about the floor, sometimes reacting to things that we mere humans can’t even perceive. We’re entranced by the graceful movements of adult cats, their ability to move silently and stealthily, the ease with which they can leap and climb and walk along sloped surfaces or narrow ledges that only a trained human acrobat would attempt.

Some people admire cats for their mysterious ways and associations with the night and with past ages when magic seemed more possible. Some respect them for their reputation of being aloof loners. Dog people claim that cats, being too independent, view humans with disdain. Cat lovers say that being loved by your cat means much more than being loved by your dog because, while a dog is a social animal who needs a master or pack leader to slavishly follow, the cat is by nature solitary. If a cat craves your companionship it is because she has chosen you and because you have earned her love, trust, respect and affection.

In my own experience, cats are wonderfully loving and affectionate friends. True, they may not be waiting by the door, wagging their tails, when you come home. On the other hand, one of my cats does wait by the door when we come home and our other cat is constantly seeking eye contact with us. As soon as we look at her, she meows to solicit our attention. They both show affection and they love to receive it and few activities are more relaxing than sitting on a sofa stroking a cat for hours on end. Cats are so soft and warm to the touch, and they love to curl up on your lap to be patted and given chin and belly rubs.

In addition to the emotional reasons that so many people love cats, there are also many practical reasons that cats share so many of our lives and homes. They are a very practical choice of house pet, especially for city dwellers. They are small and thus easily adapt to life in a small urban apartment. They don’t need to be taken outdoors for daily walks, making them easier to care for than dogs, especially for people who are at work all day or who lack a big yard or who hate to walk in the rain. Cats are also very clean and quiet and they don’t track mud onto your carpets, chase cars or bark at passers-by, which could attract the wrath of your neighbors.

Cats are smart and kittens are easily trained to use litter boxes, making them far neater and far easier to assimilate into a household than are puppies. Because of their small size, cats don’t eat the quantities of food required by large dogs, making cats more practical than dogs for families with smaller budgets. It’s also feasible to share a home with several cats at one time.

Cats were first welcomed into human homes for their ability to kill mice, for their usefulness to humans, but for me this is a negative point. First of all, I see companion animals as independent beings of another species who share our homes. It’s an honor to be accepted and trusted by fellow creatures, and my goal is to deserve that trust, to give them a safe and happy home with proper care and plenty of love and affection. They’re not here to serve me in some way. Also, as an animal lover, I don’t want to see mice killed, and so my cats don’t have access to smaller creatures.

Cats fill a special place in our hearts and in our homes and I can’t even imagine my life without them. They give me so much pleasure every day. They are individuals and quite varied in their personality traits. Our two cats, although they are sisters, are different from each other in everything except their black and white coloring. Becky is large, while Polly is small. Becky is well-mannered and demure, perfectly fitting the image of the elegant queen-like cat. Polly is playful and comical and relentless when she wants something from us. Becky obediently jumps onto the table when she knows it’s time for her daily brushing. Polly makes a game of it, running away like a scamp and dodging us until she is ready to be caught. Becky is always receptive to a good patting or belly rub and frequently solicits our affection. Polly is more of a loner who consciously selects the times when she wants to cuddle up and be patted. They are so different from each other, yet both are so lovable and necessary to our lives.

Cats give us so much and, in return, we must always give them our best, from the best of care to an abundance of love and affection. If you welcome cats into your world be sure to give them everything they need to lead happy and contented lives. Critical elements include healthy balanced diets, constant access to clean fresh water and litter pans, and daily brushings to keep fur glossy and healthy. Regular veterinary visits for shots and prompt veterinary attention in case of illness are both a must, as is a safe environment.

Indoor cats need enough space to feel comfortable, including furniture of varying heights, because vertical space is important for cats just as floor space is. Cats also require cozy corners where they can get away from people. Before adding cats to your household, walk around and examine your home as if you were trying to make it childsafe and watch out for drawers and cabinets that can be opened too easily. Because cats can climb, you must take more precautions than with children or dogs to prevent access to household cleaning products, potentially poisonous houseplants, and electrical wires.

Remove heavy objects that could fall and injure cats and don’t carry heavy objects or pass hot cups of coffee (lest they slip out of your hands) directly over your sleeping cats. Be aware that (despite the cliche of kittens playing with balls of yarn) long strand-like objects such as yarn and tinsel are very dangerous. Playful cats may get tangled in them and choke and, if swallowed, they can obstruct the intestines. Outdoor cats also need protection from cars, busy roads, dogs, extremes of heat and cold, and other dangers. Be aware that on cold winter mornings cats may climb up under the hoods of parked cars, seeking warmth. Look under the hood before you start your engine.

As you check out your environment, making it cat-safe, remember that cats are clever and can sometimes learn to open doors. They also love to sleep in warm cozy spaces, so be careful not to inadvertently shut them into drawers or closets. Be sure that they haven’t climbed into open washing machines or other appliances before you turn them on. Children need to learn the importance of handling cats gently and you need to be almost as agile as your cats in order to not step on any little cats’ feet or tails. As cats love to shoot out of nowhere at the last second and get under foot, I tend to glide around my apartment rather than lift my feet and risk stepping on someone.

A few extra precautions, that will soon become second nature to you, can go a long way towards keeping your cats healthy and safe for many years to come. Good care, plus lots of love and plenty of play and affection will enrich your cats’ lives. In return, your cats will enrich your life in so many ways that are impossible to count. It’s not hard to see why the ancients revered cats, but it’s more important to love them and to share our lives and homes with them. Cat lovers of the world can unite in saying that they’re cat people and proud of it !

About the Author

Barbara Freedman-De Vito is a professional storyteller and artist. Visit http://www.babybirdproductions.com for kids t-shirts, children’s clothing, and adult’s clothes decorated with pictures and words.

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